Tid Bits

It is unusual for me these days to blog on a day other than Monday. But I just have some thoughts I wanted to express. First of all I am at peace these days. It has been a hard thing for me to come to grips with. I am not 16 anymore, I cant play video games and sports all day long. I can no longer not work and hope to get money from my parents to go out at night (although if you are offering we could discuss it). It is a realization that I have never wanted to come to. I would prefer to do those other things all day everyday. Or just go to school and come home everyday. But it has taken me 13 years to come to grips that at some time I had to face life as it is and will be. For 13 years I have literaly agonized over what I should do with my professional life. There wasnt a day that passed by that I didnt think about it. Not a evening that passed by that I didnt spend hours late into the night researching different paths and their fit for me. My lovely wife has done the same for me on many occasions. We had prayed about the topic tons and tons of times. We had chosen paths that we thought were good paths only to see something spoil them. Our most recent thought was for me to get a Masters degree in Speech Pathology. Which I think would have been a good fit, but it is a 2 1/2 year pursuit. So I had to decided if I wanted to keep up this charade of trying to chase education and happiness (professionaly) in yet another avenue. In the end I decided to take and go for something I have been interested in and something I think is a good fit for me as well. I expressed interest to my company that I would be interested in coming back full time for this position only. I told them I would not come back full time for any other position. I spoke with the manager of the department, interviewed the next day and was hired that same day. I even got a slight raise, all of my stock options back, as well as my bonus structure, so it was a nice deal. Most would be surprised to hear the position is in corporate America. I believe it is the only position/field in corporate America I could ever excel at. The position is in the Training and Development department. I am a Trainer. I start full time on Monday in that position. My job is to train the companies employees on our software products and also train our external clients on our software products. I feel at peace with this decision. I know it is in the best interest of the family and it is a position that is a good fit for my personality. I am going to start a graduate online program at UNT in the spring. The degree will be in Applied Technology and Performance Improvement. I will be seeking a masters and hopefully some day a PhD in this field. I like this because it will help me accomplish my goal of becoming a director of training and development for a company, but also help me some day be able to teach the subject in a college someday. So it feels nice for the first time in my life to be settled. To feel like I am not anticipating a change or looking for something else. It feels nice to not worry about it anymore. This is the bed I have chosen to lye in.

I feel so blessed to have a wonderful wife and two wonderful, healthy children. There is a co-worker whose wife had a baby a few months after Ayden was born. The baby has had serious health problems from the minute it was born. The most recent news I heard this morning is that the baby has a disease that has only been seen in like 10 other babies before and none of them ended well. The baby is having seizures and is on heavy medication and is probably mentally retarded to some extent. It has been difficult for him and his wife. They are a very young couple. I think his wife is like 20. I feel for them. I dont know why some babies have the challenges they do. A few years ago a gentleman came to speak at the Mckinney Stake Center. He had written a book called "One Tattered Angel" and he was speaking to the stake about it. It was one of the more memorable speeches I have ever heard. One of his daughters was born in severely bad shape. She defied all the doctors odds and went on to live her life (although still a brief one). He talked about the impact she had on the family and how it changed and helped them all. Anyway, I dont know how Heavenly Father picks and chooses what families will get these special children. I know I am not knocking on the door to get one because I dont know how well I would hold up. Anyway just some thoughts I have had. Take care.